Saturday, February 10, 2018

1 Corinthians 13:7 - Lasting Love

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

As different as we are,
all of us have the same fundamental need.  

No matter how OLD or YOUNG… regardless one’s wealth or poverty - education or lack thereof

ALL OF US have the fundamental need

to be LOVED.

It’s written into our emotional and spiritual DNA - and whether or not we find it - has lasting results.

In 1944, an experiment was conducted on 40 newborn babies to determine whether individuals could thrive by having their basic physiological needs met WITHOUT affection. Twenty infants were housed in a special facility where they had caregivers who would feed them, bathe them and change their diapers, but would do nothing else.

The caregivers had been instructed not to look at or touch the babies more than what was necessary, never communicating with them.  

I cannot imagine how hard that must have been.

All their physical needs were attended to scrupulously and the environment was kept sterile, none of the babies becoming ill.

BUT - the experiment was halted after four months, because half of the babies - - - died.  

There was no physiological explanation for their deaths; they were all physically healthy.

But before each baby died, there was a period when they stopped trying to engage their caregivers, they stopped moving, they even stopped crying.  

Death soon followed.  
They had given up.

While this was taking place, in a separate facility, the second group of twenty newborns were raised with all their basic physiological needs provided ALONG WITH the affection of their caregivers. This time, however, no deaths occurred. Not one.

The conclusion???  Love is a vital need in humans.

But we already knew that, didn't we??

THINK about the great lengths we will go to in order to experience what we THINK is love… we will sacrifice almost anything,
  • our MORALITY - to our DIGNITY
  • From our relationships with others - to our most prized possessions
IF ONLY we might find TRUE … LASTING love.

The problem, however, is in our confusion over what REAL LOVE IS.  We confuse it with physical attraction.  We get attention from someone, even IF that attention is ILLEGITIMATE, our hearts flutter, and we take a ‘stupid pill’ to justify actions that are clearly wrong for us… that everyone can see but US!

If you want to know what real love is - look no further than 1 Corinthians 13.  It is known as the “Love Chapter” for a reason.  Paul - in an effort to confront the Church at Corinth for their selfish ways - paints a picture of true - AGAPE love.  It would be the KEY to MORE than just the harmony of the church… it is the key to the success or failure of the Gospel itself!

So many superlatives - so many lessons - we could spend WEEKS unpacking this chapter and STILL not do it justice.

But since Valentine’s Day was last week and we couldn't have service last week - we turn our thoughts to one verse - disclosing 4 characteristics of LASTING love.  And THEN I want to talk to you about HOW we can love like this… how we can get from here to there:

  1. FIRST, according to Paul, Love bears all things.”

Maybe you’ve heard of a “fair-weather-friend?”  A person who only shows up when everything is going well, but is nowhere to be found when you really need them?

You’ve probably had relationships like that - where you often felt usedabandoned… or like the relationship is all ONE-SIDED.  They may TELL YOU they love you.  But no matter what they say - the fact that they aren't there when you need them MOST - PROVES their’s isn't real love.  

Real love, according to Paul, shelters - that’s the image behind the phrase, “Love bears all things.”  It faithfully protects during the harshest storm.  It anticipates another’s weakness and defends them from attack.

That’s not to say that love is blind or gullible - because the Bible is quite clear - Love does not justify sin or compromise with falsehood.  It warns, corrects, exhorts, rebukes, and disciplines.  

If someone is leading you to sin against God in the name of love - understand - THAT ISN’T LOVE!!!  If someone is tempting you to disrespect your family or your church or disobey your God in the name of love - THAT ISN’T LOVE.  That’s lust.  That’s an immature, selfish, cheap imitation that often PASSES itself as love.  

But TRUE LOVE does not manipulate for selfish reasons.  It doesn’t cut and run when times are tough.  Though love is truthful and holy - it does NOT expose or broadcast failures and wrongs.  It covers. It protects.

If your home only sheltered you on clear, sunny days, but leaks like a sieve when it rains, you’d either hire a roofer or you’d move!  Why???  To borrow the words of famed culture-icon ⇒ Sweet Brown…

“ain’t nobody got time for that”

So why do you tolerate it from those who profess to love you?

Love isn’t for the fair-weather or the faint of heart.  It doesn’t look for a loophole or escape route.  Even IF it means jeopardizing one’s standing or reputation in the community.

Think of Jesus… the quintessence of love.  The sinners… the poor… the diseased who had been relegated to the shadows - THESE are the people Jesus surrounded Himself with.  

Remember the woman who was caught in the act of adultery??  How the Lord’s Bible-class was interrupted by an angry mob of self-righteous men wanting His blessing to stone her to death?  

What did Jesus do?  He sheltered her.  He protected her, diffused the situation and forgave her sin.

Why?? Because LASTING LOVE “bears all things.” Not just the fun, exciting things.  ALL THINGS.

2.  Second, Lasting Love “believes all things.”

The word “believes” comes from the Greek Word pis-TU-o which means “to think to be true - to trust.”  AGAIN, that doesn’t mean that love is gullible, but simply that it refuses to see the worst in people. It doesn't jump to condemning conclusions.

We see this idea in our legal system - we call it “due process” - people are “innocent until proven guilty.”  We want to hear both sides BEFORE we make a decision about guilt.  We have a Bill of Rights designed to protect the rights of our citizens.

It isn’t fair, it isn’t justice to RUSH to judgment.  There is information we need that might influence our opinions and decisions.

I’m glad that is the case - or at least - SHOULD BE the case.  Because anyone can say almost ANYTHING about another person, EVEN IF PATENTLY FALSE, and people are more than willing to act as their judge, jury, and executioner.  

People who don't know LOVE thrive on the salacious and the scandalous.  People crave gossip.  And so often, they don’t care WHO they, (pardon the expression), CRUCIFY in the process.

That isn’t love.  

Love believes the best in people… and even if it is proven that the allegations are TRUE - love won’t let us give up on the person… Love moves us to believe that the wrong can be confessed, forgiven, and the sinner restored.  

This was the approach of the Apostle Paul when he wrote the Galatians, “Brothers, if anyone is caught in ANY transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.  Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Love is a harbor of trust.  And when that trust is broken, love’s first reaction is to heal and restore… not run away or condemn.

The Pharisees and Scribes didn’t understand this concept.  They believed the worst in everyone - EVEN Jesus.  When the Lord healed people, almost everyone would be in awe and wonder - and PRAISE Jesus and said things like, “We’ve never seen ANYTHING like this before!”  

But what did the Pharisees say?  “He only does these things by the power of Satan!”

Ugly… hateful… bitter - that’s what they were.  And that ain’t love.

3.  Third, lasting love HOPES all things.

True Love HOPES - Even when belief in a loved one’s goodness or repentance is shattered, love STILL hopes. When it runs out of faith it holds on to hope.

Love moves us to believe that as long as God’s grace is operative - human failure is never final. No matter WHAT the devil tells you - no matter HOW the world judges you - sin DOESN’T HAVE TO DEFINE a person.  Not where there is love.

God wouldn't take Israel’s failure as final. Think of how patient and long-suffering He was - how He pursued them, blessed and shielded them, even though they abused His love.  And beyond that, according to Revelation, He STILL has a plan for Israel - even after all these years.

Jesus wouldn't take Peter’s failure as final - but after He was raised from the dead, sought Peter out specifically to help him realize that he had forgiven him for the three times he denied the Lord.

Paul wouldn't take the Corinthians’ failure as final.  He could have thrown his hands up in despair… after all he had pastored that church longer than any other church - and STILL they were petty, argumentative, and questioning his authority as an apostle - some even wondered about the legitimacy of his calling as a preacher!! STILL -- he had hope.

There are more than enough promises in the Bible to make us hopeful. Amen??

  • The parents of backslidden children,
  • the spouse of an unbelieving marriage partner,
  • the church that has disciplined members who do not repent—

ALL of them HOPE that the child, the spouse, or the erring brother or sister will be saved and restored.  WHY???

Because Love refuses to take failure as final. As long as there is life, love does not lose hope.

And finally, not only does Lasting Love bear, believe, and HOPE all things,

4.  It also ENDURES all things

The Greek word for “endure” is HuPOmenō - a military term used of an army holding to a vital position at all costs.  When the enemy is fierce and the battle is hot… love doesn’t run to protect itself.  Every hardship and every suffering was to be endured in order to hold fast. Don't break ranks - we must not abandon our fellow soldiers when times are tough.  

Love holds fast to those it loves. It endures all things at all costs. It stands against overwhelming opposition and refuses to stop bearing or believing or hoping. Love will not stop loving because it endures.

Think of Stephen in the Book of Acts who lovingly bore the ridicule and rejection of those to whom he witnessed. Their taunts would not make him stop believing they would see the light and their stones would not make him stop hoping they would be saved. He died praying, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them!”

Like his Lord, he loved to the end even his hate filled enemies who put him to death. His love endured.

Love bears what is otherwise unbearable; it believes what is otherwise unbelievable; it hopes in what is otherwise hopeless; and it endures when anything less than love would give up.

After love bears it believes. After it believes it hopes.  After it hopes it endures. There is no “after” for endurance, for true love never ends.

THIS, according to Paul - is what lasting love looks like!

Does it describe YOU???

Brandon Moody was attending his uncle D. L. Moody’s church one Easter morning to see what many regarded as ‘one of the most spectacular passion plays in the country.’  This is a HUGE church. Thousands call it 'home.’ so Brandon knew it would be good.

The final scene in the impressive Easter pageant was a depiction of Jesus’ ascension into heaven. And it did not disappoint!

The actor who was playing Jesus was being hoisted by stagehands through an opening in the ceiling.

But when he was halfway up, they lost their grip and down came the actor with a loud ‘thud!’

With amazing presence of mind, the actor hopped to his feet, never broke character, and said to the shocked congregation, as IF it were planned, “OH!  and ONE MORE thing. Love one another!”

“OK preacher - we get it.  We are supposed to love like this verse says.  But how do we get from here to there?  What 3 or 4 things can we do that will help us demonstrate Agape love?”  I’m so glad you asked...

  1. First - you’ve got to die to self.

Some people might think this statement is overused at Stonebridge, but there is no other way to love God and love others correctly, than to STOP living a self-centered, self-focused life.  Jesus must be your all.  You have to die to yourself, put Him first in your personal life… in your business decisions… in your marriage and family.  

DIE to self.

  1. Then you must commit your life to prayer and reading the Word.  

As God fills you with His presence, He will shave off those parts of your character that prevent you from enjoying true love and intimacy.  You will become MORE like Jesus as as His word transforms your mind. - - This is a slow, painstaking process, so don’t expect INSTANT results.

  1. You must practice good communication.  

Give and take.  Listen and share.  Spend time every day just listening.  Open your heart to the concerns and needs of the person you love.  You should talk every day - about something - about nothing.  But get in the habit of spending time together. It's an investment that pays great dividends.

And finally...

  1. Forgive - You must practice grace.

Forgive the petty things that drive couples apart.  Forgive those few slights which are intentional - and - those many slights that are UNintentional.  

If everyone here would believe the best about others, if everyone here would constantly remind themselves HOW OFTEN WE’VE needed forgiveness - how much WE have needed grace -  it will humble us and free us to demonstrate grace when we’ve been wronged.

In my time of pastoral ministry - in the hundreds of hours I have spent counseling couples - the common denominator usually comes down to a failure of those people to practice 4 things. (1) Dying to self, (2) Committing to prayer and the Word, (3) Learning the art of communication, (4) and practicing forgiveness.  If both of you will do those four things, I guarantee your marriage will thrive.  Guarantee!

Relationships are hard.  Get your head out of the fantasy novels and remember that relationships require work and grace.  Thank God for loving you and not only DESIRING your good, but making it possible - putting these good things within your reach.

SO ⇒ How’s your love, this morning?  Maybe the Holy Spirit is speaking to you about making some changes - - - changes that will be for YOUR good and HIS glory.  

Change is hard.  Truthfully, you can’t do it in your own strength.

So why not USE THIS TIME to ask the Lord to help you?  

Sunday, October 29, 2017

1 Kings 19:1-8 - Depression

Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword.  Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying,

“So may the gods do to me and more also, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by this time tomorrow.”

Then he was afraid, and he arose and ran for his life and came to Beersheba, which belongs to Judah, and left his servant there.  But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a broom tree.  And he asked that he might die, saying, “It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.”  And he lay down and slept under a broom tree.

And behold, an angel touched him and said to him, “Arise and eat.”  And he looked, and behold, there was at his head a cake baked on hot stones and a jar of water. And he ate and drank and lay down again.  And the angel of the LORD came again a second time and touched him and said, “Arise and eat, for the journey is too great for you.”  

And he arose and ate and drank, and went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb, the mount of God.

In 1835 a man visited a doctor in Florence, Italy. He was filled with anxiety and exhausted from a lack of sleep. He couldn't eat… he avoided his friends… He feared he was on the verge of a mental breakdown.

The doctor examined him and found that he was in EXCELLENT physical condition. Concluding that his patient just needed to have “a change of scenery,” the physician told him about a circus in town and its star performer, a clown named Grimaldi. Night after night he had the people rolling in the aisles.

"You must go and see him," the doctor advised. "Grimaldi is the world's funniest clown. He'll make you laugh and CURE your sadness."

"No," replied the despairing man, "he can't help me. You see, I am Grimaldi!"

Do YOU suffer from depression?  If so, you are NOT alone.  In a recent survey, 60% of respondents anonymously admitted to struggling with bouts of depression.  And THAT’S what makes it such a difficult problem  so many feel they can only talk about it anonymously.  

One of the worst parts of struggling with depression is the inability to talk about it.  We are afraid of being judged if we share.  And with good reason – people don’t know what to DO with it.  

One survey asked if they or someone in their family battled depression, and those who responded ‘YES’ were asked to suggest a likely cause of the depression.  43% said it was LIKELY the result of mental or emotional WEAKNESS.  

Is that what YOU think this is???  As IF they can HELP IT??”  

If the very people who love us assume that we are partly to blame for our struggles – no wonder depressed people refuse to share.

Let me bring a little TRUTH to the discussion:

You are NOT somehow LESS THAN others.

Some of the most talented people in the world have been those who have struggled with depression.  And It isn’t necessarily a spiritual problem, either.  Great men of the Bible… like David, Job, Jonah, and HERE IN OUR TEXT – the extraordinary prophet Elijah, suffered debilitating depression.

STILL, the church, the supposed HAVEN for sufferers, is NOT a safe place for those who struggle with depression.  Throughout church history, people have felt the liberty to share about the “dark times” and how they trusted the Lord in the midst of a trial. But churches today often make people feel that talking about our problems is not healthy.  Like it makes the FAITH look bad.  So we continue putting up a front in order to keep our “perfect” image in tact - all the while, BEHIND that ‘perfect’ facade are broken people on the verge of giving up.

ONE of the things that makes helping depressed people so hard for the pastor, is the struggle of discerning whether this problem is physical, emotional, or spiritual? Can this person find relief through a deeper experience with Christ, OR will it only be impacted through medication and counseling?

“Did he just say - “MEDICINE???”  In church life – we FREAK OUT whenever we hear about treating depression with medication!  But - there are times when medication is necessary and the person taking those meds shouldn’t feel shame about it.

Think about it like THIS - if your doctor told you that you had cancer, that your body is broken and that some virus had attacked cells in your lungs and you were going to DIE without treatment… would you tell the Doc - “No thanks - I don't need medicine to fix this.”

Then WHY would you feel that way when it comes to chemical or hormonal problems causing clinical depression??

Depression is complicated.  There are MANY POSSIBLE triggers for it… some physical… some emotional… and some spiritual.  That’s what makes it SO difficult.  That’s why you or your loved one can’t just “get over it.”

When you don’t know the cause, and when you have very little energy to pursue an answer, it is easy to give up.  

It is my prayer that our text will offer a bit of hope.  I can’t prescribe medication - but our text deals with SOME common triggers.

Elijah is one of the most fascinating characters in all the Bible.  He was a man’s prophet.  
  • He wore goatskin,
  • ate bugs and wild honey,
  • lived in caves,
  • and preached like he wasn’t afraid of anybody.

  • He raised the dead,
  • called fire from heaven,
  • stopped the rain from falling for 3.5 years,
  • and rode to heaven on a chariot of fire.  

He was – NO - ordinary man.  

In boldness he exposed the sins of King Ahab and  Jezebel, who were not only corrupt, their worship was blasphemous - and they were leading all Israel astray with their idolatry.  

So, Elijah called all the false prophets together for a contest in chapter 18.  They would each build an altar… they would each flay their sacrifice…and they would each pray to their respective gods and whichever god answered by fire would be declared the TRUE and LIVING God of Israel.

The scene would be laughable if it wasn’t so sad.  The false prophets prayed, shouted, danced and cut themselves, they made a huge spectacle, working themselves into a frenzy.  Like a lot of people today who know so little about the God of heaven - they thought their gods had to be conjured up.

When no fire fell, Elijah taunted, “Cry louder – maybe your god is taking a nap or has gone to the bathroom!?!”  

When sufficient time had passed, Elijah called for servants to drench HIS sacrifice with SEVERAL barrels of water… he prayed a brief prayer, and BOOM!  God sent a burst of fire that destroyed the sacrifice, the altar, and licked up all the water out of the trench around it.  

When the people saw that Elijah’s God was THE true God, he called for all 450 false prophets to be killed.  

A tremendous… victory.


when Jezebel heard what happened to her prophets, she put a bounty on Elijah’s head.  

That's when something strange happened to the man of God.  He fled into the desert in fear for his life, fell down under a broom tree, and prayed that God would kill him.  His confidence evaporated, Elijah didn’t want a vacation – he wanted to die.  

WHAT happened??  
How could such a bold and powerful man CAVE under the crushing weight of depression?  

The same way it can happen to you.

Some of you have been where Elijah was.  Depressed.  Ready to quit. Your JOY is gone.  Your dreams have died.  You, like Elijah, see LITTLE good on your horizon.

There are several contributing issues…

1.  First, Elijah was depressed because he was fatigued.  A person is prone to depression when he is exhausted.  Fatigue clouded his perspective.  On top of ALL the demands of that day - when he heard that Jezebel was going to kill him - he ran a hundred miles to get away from that evil woman.  And the exhausted prophet collapsed under a shade tree.

The Lord knew what he needed. More than rebuke, Elijah needed REST.  Rather than working harder… pulling himself UP by his own bootstraps and ‘shaking it off,’ he needed some sleep and some angel food cake… THEN he would be in the right frame of mind to receive direction from God.

At the fear of sounding overly-simplistic, when your tank is empty -  sometimes you just need to take some time off.  Sometimes you need rest.  In fact, God created the Sabbath day for us because He knew how fragile we ARE and how much we need a break in our routine.  

We are living in stressful times.  
  • Work demands,
  • all the activities of our families,
  • the projects that need attention
  • The stuff going on at the church.  
Sometimes it can all be just a bit too much.  We wake up just as exhausted as when we laid down.  
  • We don’t eat right
  • We walk around half-cocked…  the slightest thing sets us off.  
  • Fatigue makes us question things that we wouldn't normally question.

Are you there now??  

Learn a lesson from Elijah – take time for rest and nourishment… You NEED it.

2.  But not only was Elijah depressed because of fatigue, he was depressed because of unrealistic expectations.  After working so hard… after all the demonstrations of power and the convicting messages, Elijah was not prepared for such negative results.  HE expected revival to break out “with those prophets of Baal gone.”  He just knew that Israel would repent of their sin and follow this God Who answers prayer in such dramatic fashion.  

But when that revival DIDN’T come, he fell down and cried, “I’m no better than all those other preachers who came before me.”  

God had called him to
  • preach righteousness…
  • And to oppose wickedness
  • Which meant exposing sin in all its forms.  
And when God answered his prayer with fire, he just knew that he would see results.  

He got “results” alright – just not the kind he expected.  When Jezebel promised to kill him, and when the people didn’t depose their evil leaders who had corrupted Israel’s worship, discouragement seized his heart.

Unrealistic expectations - it’s a problem.  Some of YOU are there NOW.  You had such grand dreams.  You wanted to get married, have a couple of kids, buy a nice house, get a cushy job… THEN life would be “wonderful.”  

How long did it take before REALITY SMASHED those youthful dreams??  
  • Maybe your “dream marriage” ended in divorce?  OR you are still living together - but more as roommates who tolerate one another.
  • Maybe your career took a turn for the worse and your boss said “we don’t need you anymore.”  
  • Maybe that child you spent countless hours praying for, has become a prodigal.  
  • Or... calamity struck and someone died.

Unrealistic expectations.  When our dreams lay in ashes, we are prone to obsess, “Nothing in my life has turned out like I planned!”

That's sufficient to depress ANY of us.

3.  Third, not only had fatigue and unrealistic expectations flattened Elijah’s tires, being ALONE had gotten him too.  In vv. 9 and 13, God asks Elijah WHY he is here??  And in vv. 10 and 14, Elijah answers: because “I’m the only one left who cares.  I am ALL alone.

That’s what the devil DOES - he whispers in the shadows of our thoughts - telling us that no one understands or no one has ever suffered like this.  --  And WE -- BELIEVE IT.

The Lord reminded Elijah that this SIMPLY wasn't the case.  That there were some 7,000 people back in the city just as concerned as HE was.  He was FAR from alone.  

Not only that, but God THEN directed Elijah to find a young man named Elisha who would be PLOWING his father’s fields – someone he could mentor in ministry who would one day take his place.  THAT way, until he catches that fiery chariot to glory, he will at least have a friend to share life’s joys and sorrows with.

You need people in YOUR life too.  The tendency - when we are depressed - is to isolate ourselves from others.  It just takes too much energy to be around people sometimes… like, we have to make THEM feel better about US feeling bad.

But we need those people in our lives.  Friends who will lift us up in prayer… people who will hold us accountable… people we can serve with and share with.  Solomon said, “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.”  

Satan wants us to believe no one cares - no one understands.  He wants us to withdraw and turn INWARD - to wallow in the pit rather than climb out of it.  He wants to isolate you.  

BUT - You are NOT alone.  There are others who know what it is to struggle, who pray, and have refused to yield ground to the enemy.  We need those people in our lives because life is HARD -- on the loner.

Dinah Craik wrote this poem:

Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words – but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, CERTAIN that a faithful hand will take them and sift them – keeping what is WORTH keeping and with the breath of kindness BLOW the rest away.

We need people we can be REAL with - who will accept us - challenge us - and pray for us.  

It’s sad how you can be SURROUNDED by people EVERYDAY, and yet FEEL so alone.   

Remember what God said of Adam in the very beginning?  “It’s not good for man to be alone.”  

4.  And finally, not only did Elijah need rest and nourishment, not only did he need to change his expectations and have friends around him who would encourage him, he also needed an encounter with God to get him back on track.  

Ministry is demanding.  Battling false prophets and calling down fire from heaven - can be pretty taxing.  ðŸ˜  He needed to put back INTO his life all that he had been giving out in ministry.  So according to verse 8, God led him back to “Horeb, the mount of God.”

This is significant, btw.  THIS was the place God met with Moses years before.  
  • Remember when he saw the burning bush?  Yep…that was the place.  
  • Remember where the 10 commandments were given??  That’s it.  
God knew that this beaten-down and discouraged preacher needed to have an encounter with the Almighty to restore him and change his perspective.  More than anything else, he needed God.

Look at OTHER great people of the Bible who had similar turning points in THEIR lives.  Abraham, Jacob, Moses, David, Peter, Paul and Mary ðŸ˜Š and many others all found God in a moment of crisis.  

The best thing you can do for yourself when you are discouraged is to throw yourself into the arms of God.  As in the case of Elijah, your life will never the same.  

I’m glad that God didn’t JUST record the victories for us in His word… but even pulls back the curtain on life’s discouragements.  For - right now or someday soon - YOU will be in the valley.

That’s where Elijah was.  And...
  • once he got rest,
  • adjusted his expectations,
  • picked up a friend
  • and met with the Lord,
he got his life back on track.

Have YOU gotten off track?  Which of those things OR combination of things do you need to work on this morning?

Or maybe, you’ve eliminated those possibilities?  If those suggestions don't help you, it might be time to consider medication.  There might be something going on inside your body that can’t be helped by taking these simple steps.  You owe it to yourself AND to those who love you: SEEK HELP! There is NO SHAME in that.